ALCOHOL AND SEX

Alcohol is the major cause of impotence in middle age men.
The pattern on the American scene is changing with more young people drinking, and more alcohol consumed, especially among women. The more affluent our society the more we can afford hard drinks, which is very destructive.

A large amount of alcohol is a deterrent on sexual performance and is the major cause of impotence in middle-aged men. We are not talking necessarily about being an alcoholic, but just an excessive use of alcohol by anyone.

DRINKING IN MARRIAGE

Drinking increases, marital situations deteriorate. One of the spouses is repelled by the other’s drinking, cease to enjoy sex, and tries to avoid sex as mochas possible. This also may block the husband’s agility to maintain or get an erection. Both parties feel a lack of esteem at losing their masculinity or femininity. They feel it is the other’s fault and start quarreling and shy away from further attempts at sex. This makes a good sexual life almost impossible. The family often becomes closer and pushes the alcoholic out.

Each spouse may feel trapped in such a marriage and neither really cares about the other. Though there is impotence at home, it may result in extramarital relationships out of the home.

Alcohol is a great releaser of aggression. Happy drunks after many years develop increased hostility. What starts as a verbal abuse progresses to actual physical abuse to the wife and the kids. It is as though they put all their past and present woes and frustrations, anger and disappointment into one big huge ball and throw it at the nearest person, usually the closest being the wife, husband, mother or father. Most cases of child abuse are caused by drunkenness. Most people who say they drink moderately drink excessively.

Stopping alcohol results often in improvement in the marriage, and also in sexual performance, there is more self-esteem and tolerance, and more giving and less egocentricity. Often the pleasure of sex between the couple returns.

TEENAGE DRINKING
People do what they wouldn’t do if they were not drunk. Alcohol is often a means for seduction, especially in our teenagers. After getting drunk they don’t know what happened to them, and they can’t behave responsibly in the sexual field. With condoms and the pill, they have license to have sex. Most girls today are now actually ashamed of being virgins.

If you a parent get drunk, but consider it a normal way to be and get pleasure from it, our kids are going to imitate you. It will be hard for or kids to identify with you, even if you are loving and generous when sober, but mean and punishing when drunk and pitiful when hung over. Your kids are angry and confused when they witness quarreling between you and your spouse. They see what you have done with your life with alcohol.

Being young, and fairly healthy, many can still get away with their drinking. They think they drink like all their friends do and the pleasure of drinking outweighs the painful consequences. There is now a lack of commitment to the norms of our culture, to unwanted pregnancies, and even to psychosis. Our young have to decide for themselves. They are allowed to make mistakes. But this is a hard way to learn.
Things have changed and we the older generation are slow to appreciate this. The norm we offer to our kids often doesn’t make sense to them.

When they have lost control and have blackouts and personality changes they may see they are in a progressive disease, need help and seek therapy. They started drinking to expand their awareness of people, become more outgoing and friendly. Yet it is so easy to overstep the bound s of moderation, where alcohol is an impediment rather than a help to social relationships.

We have a danger of a lost generation if we don’t help our kids in some way. We can’t impose our attitudes and beliefs on them, but need a dialogue, not a telling. We need guidelines on how to use alcohol and how to use sex.

WHAT ARE THE LIMITS OF NORMAL DRINKING?

There is certainly more drinking in both sexes. Most people are drinking and more are becoming alcoholics. Women alcoholics now are overtaking the men in numbers. Alcohol increases the rate of promiscuity, and increased sexuality seems to promote alcoholism. Some drink to work up their sexual drive or their courage our culture seems to look at the capacity to drink as a mark of virility, just as being active sexually is a mark of manliness.

We have become too permissive of drunken behavior. We often just laugh about it and make a joke of it. Yet may people finally get to the point where they can’t stand to have a real drunk around them any more and reject them or no longer invite them out. We in America never have spelled out the limits of normal drinking.
IT’S ABOUT TIME WE DO!



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